I used to be a perfectionist. Like OCD. I wanted to have a perfect life and I equated a perfect life, where everything goes my way, with happiness. But at the same time, in a sense, I was actually scared of perfection. Paradoxical, for sure. But I didn't realize and understand this fear until after I altered my perception of perfection in relation to happiness and accepted imperfection as perfection. Until after I stopped chasing the perfection which I thought I wanted but really didn't want. It'll make more sense in a minute.
For the longest, I've held myself to ultra high standards, aiming to always excel in every aspect of my life. However, my quest for perfection and happiness was dampened by a constant people-pleasing feeling. I think it stemmed from a fear of my own power, and a fear of stirring up discomfort in others when I am in my power. I had this ingrained belief that I needed to stay small so that others could feel big or powerful. I didn't want to outshine anyone. I was afraid that any success, confidence, or self-assuredness would make others overly envious or insecure. And that I would come across as the opposite of humble or modest.
So, I hid away my own power. I disallowed myself from fully being and feeling worthy and empowered. I lived a life that was overshadowed by self-doubt and I kept myself in a cage of insecurity, thinking that this was the way to make those around me feel secure.
But deep down, I was unhappy. I was living a life that wasn't true to myself. I was denying my own potential, all in trying to preserve the comfort of others and not stir any waters.
But do I truly need to dim my own light to make others shine? No way! I can shine so bright that I can give light to others. Isn't it possible for everyone to embrace their own power and uniqueness without it being a threat to others? Of course!
I learned that being vulnerable and authentic was far more empowering than trying to be perfect. I realized that my self-worth didn't depend on how others felt about me. I had the right to be secure in who I was, and that didn't mean I had to make myself smaller. But by embracing my own power and self-worth, I could inspire and empower others to do the same.
Over time, I let go of the need to be perfect and started to focus on personal growth and self-improvement for my own sake, not to meet external standards. I learned to celebrate my achievements, no matter how small, and to be kind to myself when I make mistakes.
Today, I can confidently say that I am still a work in progress, but I've come a long way. I've realized that true empowerment comes from within, and it's not something that needs to be hidden or suppressed. It's something that can be shared and celebrated with others, inspiring them to embrace their own power as well.
The path to self-acceptance and empowerment is paved with imperfections, and that's perfectly okay. It's through our imperfections that we connect with others on a deeper level and inspire positive change, both within ourselves and in the world around us. So, don't be afraid to let your light shine, for in doing so, you may just help others find their own inner radiance too. Embrace imperfection, for that's where perfection lies.
