When a child listens and obeys, we say that child is good. When we do what our parents, our teachers, and other authority figures tell us to do, we are good and obedient. Simple enough right? Follow the rules, listen to those in charge, and everything will be fine… Why is it that we equate being good with obedience or obedience with being good?
We are autonomous beings. We can guide and inspire each other but, control the way we do it is not okay yet we allow it to prevail as the norm. And I'm really sick of it.
Is goodness merely about following rules and respecting authority, or is it something deeper? As we grow and develop our own moral compass, we often find that the answers are not as straightforward as they seemed in childhood.
We can trace the roots of this connection back to our evolutionary past. Human societies in the early years relied on clear hierarchies and shared norms to survive. Obedience to leaders and adherence to group rules were crucial for maintaining order and ensuring collective safety. In this context, being obedient was not just a personal virtue but a necessity for the community's well-being. This historical perspective sheds light on why obedience has been so highly valued and why it continues to be associated with goodness.
Psychologically, humans have a fundamental need for belonging and acceptance. From a young age, we learn that obeying rules and conforming to societal norms can lead to approval and validation from others. This desire to fit in can sometimes overshadow our individual moral reasoning, leading us to equate obedience with being good. But what happens when the rules we are asked to follow conflict with our sense of right and wrong?
This dilemma is not just theoretical. History and the current times are replete with examples of individuals who, by following orders, participate in harmful actions. And they justify their actions saying that they are just following orders.
Quick little story pertaining to this: I remember when I was in Maryland a few years ago with a bunch of my family, passing through on a Christmas road trip. We stopped to have dinner in Ocean City and some of them wanted to go on the Ferris Wheel. I was waiting in the designated waiting area, about a 5 minute walk from the Ferris Wheel but I wanted some closer photos so I walked over to it to take pictures. My dad walked over with me. But then it started to rain and we ran under the shelter directly below the Wheel where only a bartender was sitting, the entire eating/sitting area otherwise empty. Yet, after a few minutes, the bartender comes over and tells me and my dad that we cannot be there unless we are going to order something from the bar. I asked for some sort of compassion because my dad is getting old, is also sight impaired and I definitely don't want him or I to get sick. And guess what his retort was? The good old I'm just following orders. So we stepped out into the rain… The ride was almost over so we just wanted to wait to walk back altogether. My son was on the ride too so I wanted to wait right there for him. Then, even in the rain, another man comes over and tells us we can't be there unless we are riding the Ferris Wheel… What is wrong with the hearts of human beings? Where is the compassion? Where is empathy? Where is kindness? Where is love? What kind of a world do we live in? Do they want others to treat them and their families that way? I wonder how they feel just following orders in life… being controlled by everyone else's rules and can't think or do for themselves.
There are so many dangers of conflating obedience with goodness. This points to a critical flaw in the equation: it assumes that those in authority are always right, and that their rules are inherently good.
Yet, true goodness transcends mere obedience. It involves a deep understanding of ethical principles and a willingness to question and challenge authority when necessary. It requires empathy, integrity, and the courage to act according to one's convictions, even when doing so is difficult or unpopular. This perspective encourages us to view moral actions not as mere compliance but as thoughtful and intentional choices.
It is extremely important to instill independent thinking from a young age. It's essential to teach children not just to obey but to understand why certain rules exist and to question them when they seem unjust. Encouraging critical thinking and moral reasoning helps us develop a strong internal moral compass, guiding us to act in ways that align with our values rather than simply conforming to external expectations.
As we live our own lives and influence those around us, it's crucial to reconsider the traditional narrative that equates being good with obedience. True goodness is complex and multifaceted, involving more than just following rules. It's about understanding the impact of our actions on others, standing up for what is right, and sometimes challenging the status quo.
In the end, redefining what it means to be good allows us to build a society that values ethical thinking over blind obedience. It encourages us to be thoughtful, empathetic, and courageous, striving to make choices that reflect our deepest values and contribute much more positively to the world around us.
