I am not a professional masseuse. But I have given lots of massages over the years. When I was a teen, I remember massaging my grandmother's calves and ankles to help relieve some of her pains. I've managed to give myself countless massages over the years as well, loving how flexible I am to be able to do so. When I got my baby, I'd give him massages, up until now and he's a teen.
I started saying oh it requires so much energy from me and I'm so tired, but then I would just try to lean into it more. And in leaning into it, I allowed the space for it to be a massage or some sort of yoga for myself at the same time. Because, for example, as I press into shoulders or shoulder blades, I allow my shoulder blades to also move in motion to facilitate the right amount of pressure and keep a smooth, balanced flow of energy, making the massage more effective and comfortable for myself as well. The physical exertion involved in giving a massage is so beneficial. Kneading and pressing requires strength and dexterity which engages my muscles and improves my own physical fitness. I see it as a form of exercise that strengthens the hands and arms and also promotes overall bodily awareness and coordination.
I pay attention to how my wrists and fingers feel as well because I am a software engineer and I'm on the keyboard constantly and I use it as an opportunity to basically massage my own hands lol. I've learned to listen to my own body over the years. And I feel like I have a really good understanding of physiology in general that allows me to give good massages.
So I see giving massages is as therapeutic as receiving them from the right person. It allows me to be mindful and present, attentive and attuned to not only the receiver but myself as well. The state of focused presence is meditative and brings a break from my own mental chatter and stress. It becomes a form of mindfulness, grounding me in the present moment.
It's is a two-way street—a beautiful exchange where both the giver and the receiver reap significant physiological and psychological benefits. There is a sense of empathy and compassion, as the giver becomes acutely aware of the receiver's responses and needs. There is an admirable exchange of energy and care—a true embodiment of the give and get that defines our shared human experience. It's always about energy exchange. Nuanced but beautiful when reciprocal.
So really my thoughts here are not to convince anyone to become a massage therapist but to highlight the rewards of giving—how much one can gain through the act of giving. Which is probably why I don't truly believe in altruism. Controversial, I know. But I see it as there is always something to be gained from giving even if one does not see it, even if we have no expectations for a return of favor. I think it's an implicit knowledge of gain for the selfish gene.
Anyway, really – giving is also getting. Again, every action gives rise to an equal and opposite reaction. When we give of our time, energy, or care, we also receive – these types of exchanges enrich us emotionally and spiritually. We don't have to be aware of getting when we give – I think it's an inherent thing. If I did believe in altruism, I'd consider myself altruistic because I consider myself a giver. I love to give gifts and things and I don't expect anything in return – most of the time. When I was younger, I expected at least a whole bunch of appreciation lol. But now, I don't. I just do. And of course, appreciation is always appreciated.
Giving is a beautiful reminder that every act of kindness, no matter how small, creates a ripple effect that ultimately benefits everyone involved. Here's to getting as much as you give, or more!
But do only give within your boundaries! Another post on boundaries upcoming!
